certifiable!

What a great photo opportunity! Either during the ceremony or after. The bride, the groom and the officiant signing, signing, signing....um......something!

Unfortunately, the wedding license in most states is just an ugly duckling, and even though in New York, the couple does sign it, four gorgeous people signing a legally looking piece of documentation does NOT a photo make.

Fortunately, there are alternatives, like this beauty, courtesy of www.fineweb.com, the website of Gary Fine, an officiant in Massachusetts. You can fine beautiful certificates and Ketubahs online, or you can ask your New Jersey Wedding Officiant (smooth, eh?) to make one for you. The signing of a beautiful document is so often an accompaniment to important and momentous days, and it might be just the sweet, symbolic touch to add to yours.

With this Ring!

One of my cool brides, getting married in Brooklyn next week, has chosen "With This Ring", by the Platters, as her recessional! You can view it, and many other cool ideas for music on Youtube! Your "recessional" music should be joyous, upbeat, but not necessarily classical. I'll post more suggestions as they come to me, and chime in with your own!

New York, New York!!

This is an excerpt from the New York Times this morning;

ALBANY — Gov. David A. Paterson has directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, like Massachusetts, California and Canada. (AND NEW JERSEY!!!
SORTA!!!)

In a directive issued on May 14, the governor’s legal counsel, David Nocenti, instructed the agencies that gay couples married elsewhere “should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union.”

The revisions are most likely to involve as many as 1,300 statutes and regulations in New York governing everything from joint filing of income tax returns to transferring fishing licenses between spouses.

In a videotaped message given to gay community leaders at a dinner on May 17, Mr. Paterson described the move as “a strong step toward marriage equality.” And people on both sides of the issue said it moved the state closer to fully legalizing same-sex unions in this state.

“Very shortly, there will be hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, and probably thousands and thousands and thousands of gay people who have their marriages recognized by the state,” said Assemblyman Daniel O’Donnell, a Democrat who represents the Upper West Side and has pushed for legalization of gay unions.

Massachusetts and California are the only states that have legalized gay marriage, while others, including New Jersey and Vermont, allow civil unions. Forty-one states have laws limiting marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Legal experts said Mr. Paterson’s decision would make New York the only state that did not itself allow gay marriage but fully recognized same-sex unions entered into elsewhere.

This is a huge step in the right direction, the right direction being New York making gay marriage legal. Let's all hope that comes soon; it can't be soon enough!

Sailing away!

How cool would it be to have your wedding on this lovely boat, the "Richard Robbins"? Now, I know nothing about boats except I love them, and being on the water for two hours makes me feel like I've been on vacation. But I went to the Classic Sail Windjammer Site and found out that this beauty is a historic schooner, built in 1902. She is a registered historic Tall Ship which participated in "Operation Sail 1987", "Operation Sail 1992".

Clasic Sail is running many brunch and sunset cruises, including a 4th of July trip! How fun would that be!!!

This just might be the perfect place for your wedding, rehearsal dinner, or "after the wedding" brunch. I hope you'll check out site because I know you'll enjoy it!

A little tiny basket of great stuff is a wonderful way to welcome your out of town guests. Many companies, like www.angelsdreamgifts.com, can make beautiful gifts that will make your guests feel especially cherished.

It's great to have your basket relate to your venue, your state or your wedding theme. Are you on a ranch, like Laura Bush? Maybe some down home treats. New Jersey? Too many jokes to go there. A big city like, um, NY? Subway tokens, a map pointing to museums and other notable sites, a disposable camera, a pastrami sandwich. Just kidding. In any and all cases, a list of local attractions, cool and inexpensive quirky restaurants and contact numbers for the hotel,ceremony venue, and reception site. Your gracious hospitality will be appreciated, no one will get lost, and they'll be even happier to celebrate your special day!

girls, grass and shoes

Stilettos and sod don't mix! If your wedding is going to be outside, on the grass, (sand is a whole other discussion!) you want to plan your footwear accordingly. More than one of my recent brides has found herself slowly sinking into the ground (and usually, not evenly....) One one of the most important days of your life, you shouldn't be worried about ending face down on the lawn. Well, not at the very beginning anyway... Look for something with a wide heel or some pretty flats (keep in mind that this will affect the way your hemline is altered too.

Your New York Wedding officiant (smooth, eh?) will need to know this too, so she doesn't wobble around while she's performing your ceremony; some of us move around more than others, and don't want to be worried about tripping or getting stuck.

This is also something you might want to indicate in a subtle way on your invitations too, so your female guests know to plan accordingly. You could write things like;

"Ceremony on the lawn of the blah blah blah club."
"Ceremony in the Rose Garden of the blah blah blah conservatory."
"Ceremony in the middle of no where, and it's a long walk to the back 40."

Another possibility would be to add this to your wedding website when you describe the setting. Everyone will be comfortable, and everyone will be happy!

(Photo courtesy of www.weddingbee.com)

Enable your cookies!

How much do we LOVE cookies, and what beautiful favors they make when created by www.feedyoursoulcookies.com They can create the perfect wedding memento that will delight your guests with a personal and inspirational treat.

Everything about this gift may be personalized to your specifications. There are choices of elegant miniature tins and boxes that are filled with freshly baked cookies and tied with soft satin ribbon.
Each favor includes the wedding couple's names, dates, a personalized philosophy, quotation, or thought: There are hundred to choose from. And what is even better, the "icing on the cookie"; a portion of the proceeds from each purchase is donated to the charitable organization of your choice.

Honeymoon Hotels

Thanks to the New York Times, I found a great resource for inexpensive hotels all over the world, from New York to Scotland and back. WWW.Easyhotels.com lets you search by location, date, and room type, to find reasonable rooms with character and charm. Most are light on amenities, but you're going to be out exploring, aren't you? The hotels in Edinburgh looked adorable, and they are expanding their sites in London, Switzerland and Budapest.

April in Paris, anyone? Rates start at 60 bucks a night!

John O'Donohue

My friend and fellow Celebrant, Murphy Birdsall turned me on to John O'Donohue, an Irish poet and philosopher who died suddenly on January 4th. He was a " native Irish speaker, a former priest, and author of books that provided sustenance for many souls hungering for connection in a shallow, narcissistic world — a world full of what called the 'religion of rush.'" (From the NPR website, www.npr.org.

He wrote frequently about life's milestones, especially in his last book, "To Bless the Space Between Us". This is a poem that I especially like as a leave taking reading at the end of a wedding.



For Marriage; John O’Donohue



As spring unfold the dream of the earth,
May you bring each other’s hearts to birth.

As the ocean finds calm in the view of land
May you love the gaze of each other’s mind.

As the wind arises free and wild,
May nothing negative control your lives.

As kindly as the moonlight might search the dark,
So gentle may you be when light grows scarce.

As surprised as the silence that music opens,
May your words for each other be touched with reverence.

As warmly as the air draws in the light,
May you welcome each other’s every gift.

As elegant as dreams absorbing the night,
May sleep find you clear of anger and hurt.

And as twilight harvests the day’s colors,
May love bring you home to each other.

another great wedding ceremony site

What a beautiful beautiful venue this is! I'm delighted to be officiating at a wedding on Saturday morning at this gorgeous historically significant site. Something to keep in mind, if you're having a wedding on a holiday weekend, is that your guests might really appreciate a creative, interesting destination. Mohonk fits the bill perfectly; a gracious estate outside of New Paltz, NY, it offers hiking, spa services, and of course, the perfect venue for an stylish and personal wedding.

www.mohonk.com

Not your New York Wedding Ceremony....yet...

California has lifted the ban on same sex weddings, which is a wonderful benchmark that more states should imitate. I am very proud that New Jersey had made civil unions legal for years; we have a little more work to do, but at least some of the protections and privileges granted to "traditional" couples are now in place for same sex couples. When is New York going to get up to speed?

No one has the right to vote on a couple's marriage; not relatives, not strangers. Marriage is between two people and their chosen community. And that's all I have to say about that. Well, not ALL.....

You Skewer me, you New York Wedding Officiant

Yeah, I know it's self serving, but actually, if you go to Churrascaria Plataforma, you'll be served! and what a great idea for a party~ A Brazilian theme buffet, complete with roving waiters brandishing armfuls of...um....MEAT! Your guests are provided a coaster with a green side "MORE MEAT" and a red side, "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH....GO AWAY". Add some luscious side dishes, a beautiful wedding cake and a New Jersey Wedding Officiant (smooth, eh?) and you've got a party going on! Sure beats, "Will you be having the Filet Mignon or
the Salmon?"

For starters, check out Churrascaria Plataforma, in NYC, billed as "The steakhouse even vegetarians will love". Their cool menu and fun atmosphere would be the perfect place for a stylish and unusual wedding. I'll be there; just call me!

Young Gay Rites

The cover story in the New York Times Magazine, on April 27th, was a story titled, "Young Gay Rights". It examined the reasons that gay men in their 20's seem to be getting married at a prodigious rate. I loved the story, but I hated the photos. This is the letter that I wrote to them, which is published in this weeks magazine section.

"Dear Editors,
I enjoyed Denizet-Lewis', Young Gay Rites in the magazine of April 27th. The author crafted a lively and sympathetic read, chronicling the path to marriage and beyond; a path that is not so different for any couples of any sexual combination . But why the colorized, exaggerated photos, mimicking the most cliché and self conscious of coupled moments? Why pose Marc and Vasssili in tuxedos when they specifically stated that they will sidestep all the trappings associated with "traditional" weddings? Besides the uncomfortable nod to the fifties, (an era that was not especially welcoming to gays and lesbians), it insinuates that gay couples are somehow "play acting" at being married. As a civil Celebrant, who has had the great joy to preside over many gay unions in New Jersey, I'm insulted by the way these couples were depicted, at least visually. Any couple taking the momentous step of becoming legally married deserved to be spared mockery in the name of editorial shock value."

They cut out the last sentence, which I felt was vital. As a civil celebrant, I feel very, very strongly about the civil rights that have been granted, (at least partially) in New Jersey. I'm proud that my state has taken that step, and hope that more will make the moves to guarantee the fundamental freedom to marry the person that one loves.

I'll take Manhattan!

The Bronx and Staten Island too!!!! (Actually, this is the beautiful Brooklyn Bridge) As of 12:47 PM today, I'm legally registered as a New York City wedding officiant,(smooth, eh?), and can perform weddings on the George Washington Bridge, in Central Park, at Zabars, or just about any other place you might have in mind. I'm very excited, and I have to thank one of my cool couples, Gina and Charles for inspiring me to get registered. So Thanks!

Places Everyone

Placecards are good and evil. They help prevent chaos at a sit down or formal affair. They let people know where to go, which is a real plus with a larger crowd. HOWEVER, any couple will tell you that fitting your guests into tables is not the easiest thing in the world, and there will ALWAYS be some little problem that day.

One way to herd the cats is to name your tables after the groups of people you've invited; "Rhode Island School of Design-ers", or "Yankee Fans". Another is to name your tables after special places or moments in your relationship and the people that shared them with you; "Cozumel 2008" , "Graduation 2006", and use photos to mark the tables and the placecards.

One of my brilliant brides had a different single floral arrangement on each table and named her tables after them; Cape Cod Blue (with pansies), Sunflower yellow...etc.

There are so many creative ways to name tables and direct traffic that "Table 1" just doesn't seem like an option! Tell me more about your New York wedding ceremony at www.celiamilton.com