Playing footsie!

How great would it be if we could tone our legs and core without going to the gym? If just by walking from here to there all day long,we could get a decent workout? It would be very cool.

That's where these funny looking foot babies come in. Shape up shoes And they ARE funny looking, but you will feel them working as soon as you put them on. I have a pair in purple (of course) and a pair in black (basic black, of course) and I live in them. (No I don't do ceremonies in them, and even though they come in white, I don't recommend walking down the aisle in them.....you'll be wobbly enough without them!

But they are a lot of fun, they don't cost a fortune, and you can think of it as multi tasking!

you say tomato

One of my wonderful Labor day New Jersey Wedding Ceremonies (smooth, eh?) took place on the ancestral property of the bride, amid her family's lush and verdant late summer gardens. The flowers and trees were in glorious full bloom, and many of the guests eschewed the formal seating to enjoy the ceremony seated on the grass.

During the ceremony, we spoke of the generations of love and care that were silently witnessed by the perrenials her grandmother had planted and the bountiful vegetable garden that her grandfather tends every day. It gave us a beautiful metaphor to speak of the cycles of life, and how important marriage is within the history of a couple, a family and a community.

As a send off, each guest received a bag of home grown tomatoes! What a personal and meaningful tribute, not only to the family homestead, but the Charles, her grandfather, who so lovingly takes care of a myriad of heirloom vegetables.

Almost nothing is as meaningful as looking at a wedding with an eye towards this type of family history and family future. When you start to look at your own plans, take some time to revisit your family's significant traditions and memories. You will find a rich source of inspiration for both your ceremony and reception.

I'm not going to harp on this

But Merynda Adams will! If you're looking for beautiful and classic music for your new jersey wedding ceremony (smooth, eh?) or reception, you'll be happy you discovered Merynda. She is positively angelic on the harp, by herself, but has a troop of other wonderful musicians on call as well. Merynda has performed with New York Grand Opera, New Philharmonic, Plainfield Symphony, Metro Lyric Opera, Opera at Florham and the Northeastern Philharmonic. A winner of the South Orange Symphony Artists’ Competition and the Goldblatt Award, she has appeared at Lincoln Center’s Bruno Walter Auditorium, Avery Fisher Hall, and off Broadway in the long running musical, “The Fantasticks”. Her gracious and inspired artistry will add the perfect touch to your celebration, and she can suggest the perfect selections to accompany your ceremony. And just as important is the fact that she is just plain fun to work with!

Welcome Back!

Well, not you! Me! It's been a long time since I blogged; thanks to my wonderful couples, it's been a crazy two weeks! I feel like Where's Waldo; you never know where my next wedding ceremony is going to be, but there have been some really interesting ones, and as soon as I get photos, they'll be posted here.

Some random great ideas, just bits and pieces from my creative duets!
For a rustique-elegant wedding in a beautiful, enormous white tent, Kathleen and Roland used Mason jars full of locally grown flowers. Since "going local" is all the rage in the age of green weddings, these were stylish, beautiful and ecologically correct.

They also used a funky canoe to hold their canned and bottled beverages (don't forget the bottle openers ties to the canoe with camper friendly lanyards! (This photo is from Whistler Outdoor,a company that runs year round adventure tours in British Columbia. What a great idea for a honeymoon!

There were so many stylish ideas in play at Kathy and Carol's ceremony, it's hard to pick, and I can't wait to get their photos back from my amazing photographer and friend, Dan Epstein. They chose the gracious, newly redesigned Museum of Morris County as their ceremony site, arriving with great flourish in an antique white Packard. As a backdrop for the ceremony, we had a collection of silver picture frames that showed scenes from their life together; vacations with their son, family vacations, pets. It was a warm and personal touch that everyone enjoyed. When the ceremony was over, the photos were distributed among the guest tables and the cake table so all could enjoy close up. (These frames are from Hampshire Antiques, a collectors' site that will make you lose your mind entirely).

Nothing says "patio wedding" like a swimming pool full of flowers and a fireworks display to cap off the night; more on that one later!



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Not a New York Wedding...

Okay, it was on the West Coast, and I'm jealous. The wedding of Nikki Rice and David Malki sounds so cool and so fun that I wish I could have been there! They are both multi talented artists who work in film as well as many other media, not the least of which was creating their own unique celebration.



Although the did have their serious and romantic moments...



comfort and funkiness was definitely a factor. I love the dyed to match chucks. Move over stilettos and laceups.....




But maybe my fave is the cake!



All the best to yous twos! Long live love, talent and humor!

Ringers!

When I saw Carrie Weston's jewelry, I couldn't resist posting some pix. Her quirky and fun designs would just make the most amazing wedding rings!

My personal favorite is her "sandwich" ring (but check out her hamburger ring too...)




And then there are the "diamond" rings (and pendants and earrings) which she designer for her brother.


Her work is fun and unusual and there are many, many designs that would just rock as wedding bands. If I get married again, I'm having the sandwich!

Not just plain vanilla

I read about Lisa Krisner George in the New York Times, in a wonderful article about women who have created alternative career paths. As soon as I finished reading, I picked up the phone and called her. We had a cool conversation and I went to see her delightful pink and chartreuse studio, Vanilla Pink in Bloomfield NJ. It is there that she creates the most amazing, individual dresses for special occasions. Her outlook on what she creates is very similar to the way I view my New York wedding ceremonies; (smooth, eh?)

"Your bridal wear should tell a story; it should speak of who you are and how you came to this day. It should be as unique as the person it is designed for, and should say more about what is beautiful to you than what happens to be in fashion. It is the dress you have always imagined yourself wearing—not a dress that wears you.

Our designs, first and foremost, reflect these beliefs. Every dress we make marries a love of design with time-honored techniques—to reflect both the beauty of the fabric you have chosen, and your own personal tastes."

You will love speaking with Lisa, and her dresses will seize your heart.But call her now because she is getting busy!

Music, Music, Music

When you start to think about music to surround your wedding ceremony, think out of the box! Sure, you can use the Pachabel Canon in D, which is lovely; but how about something that is more personal, more individual,like you are! I wrote about Tricia, and her heart stopping walk down the aisle. I had a bride arrive to Bobbie Mcferrin's version of "Somewhere over the Rainbow"; I had another walk in with a selection from "Riverdance" flowing behind her. Lovely Tovah and her father walked down the aisle to "Edelweisse", from "The Sound of Music". She almost took me down; by the time she got to the ceremony space, all the bridesmaids, the groom, and me were sobbing.





When I got married, a billion years ago before unity candles were invented, I chose the theme from the wonderful movie, "Out of Africa", written by John Barry. The music was evocative; slow enough to walk to (this is a BIG consideration!), and short enough to be appropriate.



To me, the real meaning of the movie (which does bear another view!) was two people who found each other, against all odds and coexisted in an edgy, not perfect way. They were completely soul mates although life was messy for them. It spoke of the real challenge and joy of partnership.

So go look! Maybe the into music to Pee Wee's playhouse suits you! Maybe a beautiful Gershwin tune, "Embraceable You", or "Some Enchanted Evening", from South Pacific

Think about the music that you love, and that music will enhance your ceremony more than any words can do.

Engaging photos

And I wish I'd thought this one up! One of my clients took her wedding party (including her trusty new jersey wedding officiant!) to the Jersey Shore to take a barefoot group photo for her engagement announcement. It was very casual, very relaxed, and gave the wedding party a chance to meet, greet and plot! As I wrote her wedding ceremony, I wove into it the story of their engagement photo party. It was very sweet, and it gave the guests a little more insight into this wonderful couple. We also incorporated a sand ceremony after their vows, using sand we brought back!

This type of "before" photo could be a great wedding invite too! Including the "back story" of a wedding can make everyone feel like a part of the path to the marriage, and give everyone even more to talk about on the "day"!

Our sweet picture is from a blog called Weekend Kindness.

water, water everywhere!!!

My fantastic New Jersey couple this weekend have a running theme in their relationship; water! They met in a thunderstorm, betting each other who could last longer sitting outside and getting wet! (It was a tie...) They said that thunderstorms always remind them of the night they met, so it made perfect sense to have a water ritual as part of their ceremony.

As guests enter the wedding ceremony site, they will encounter a small table with a beautiful bowl of water and tumbled river rocks. There is a small card on an easel that quotes part of a John O'Donohue poem about the blessing of water, and a suggestion that they dip their fingers into the vessel and make their wishes for the couple.
As part of the ceremony, before the ring exchange, I will pour the water, and in essence the hopes and dreams of their friends and family, over their hands. (We'll have a towel handy!)

This is the reading that will accompany the "pouring";

Marriage is a promise between two people, but it is a promise that exists with the support of a community. As you entered our ceremony space, you all infused this water with your wishes, hopes and dreams for this couple! I invite you to think of those wishes again as they start their journey together, immersed and renewed by the imaginings of the people who mean the most to them.

May you be comforted, nourished and inspired with every thunderstorm, with every river and ocean, with every drop of dew you experience. May you never forget the rainy night that you met and may you be reminded, again and again of this glorious day; a day that marks a twist in the river that is life!
With the pure intention of all those present, may this water bless your hands and hearts.

I think it will add meaning to their wedding ceremony, not only as a visual opportunity for their photographer to have something besides me talking and everyone else listening, but it will truly personalize their ceremony in an unusual and memorable way.

This beautiful bowl is from www.chopa.com. It is a Tibetan singing bowl, relatively rare in the United States, although in China, these bronze bowls date back to the 5th century B.C. Traditionally, they are filled with water and when the brass handles are rubbed, the bowl will sing! Legend has it that the higher the water splashes to your face, the longer your longevity is on earth!

I'm going to try and NOT splash my bride and groom, but the fond wishes of their guests will bless their union. Do I have the best job on the planet or what??

As you start to think about your New Jersey wedding ceremony, or your wedding ceremony anywhere else, think about elements of your own history that would provide a meaningful and individual ritual. It will make your wedding ceremony truly something to remember.

If you're in California, and you're trying to create a real "outta the box" wedding, you're in luck, Rebel Belles Weddings can swoop in and save the day! Their irreverent and down to earth attitude is a breath of fresh air and they will do exactly what you need; manage your vendors on the day, find you great professionals and venues, and give you the best ideas. They are real specialists in theme weddings, so if you're thinking a football party, a Star Wars adventure or a medieval fest, they're your go to planners. Give them a hoot!

Ring in the New

Your wedding rings are not only an outward symbol that you have made a life long commitment to the person you love the most, they can be a gracious reminder of your heritage. These beautiful rings are from a website called, appropriately enough, "Rings from Ireland".




Many of their selections feature traditional elements like Celtic crosses, trinity knots and Claddaghs, but there are more subtle designs too, and they are all beautiful.



This beautiful 'my soul mate' ring is available in silver with 18kt gold text that translates to "Mo Anam Cara", or "My Soul Friend"; the inscription is carved in Ogham script, the first known Irish writing.


The website goes on to explain,
"The characters comprise a series of lines and notches that are scored across a long stem-line often on standing stones.
In the majority of cases the inscription is read from the bottom up, and usually names the person being commemorated along with their ancestors and the carver of the inscription. Over 350 Ogham stones are known, with the majority found in southern Ireland from Kerry to Waterford and in South Leinster. They also occur in small numbers in western Scotland, the Isle of Man, and in Cornwall at Lewannick, where Irish settlers from Munster landed and founded communities.

While the stones in Ireland are written purely in Ogham, those in Britain often have the Ogham inscription repeated in Latin carved in Roman characters on the same stone.

In legend Ogham was said to have been created by Ogma, the son of An Dagda. Ogma was both a warrior and the god of eloquence and literature, and fought the second battle of Magh Tuireadh where he slew the Formi, Indech, son of the goddess Domnu.

It is truly fascinating, and a chance to infuse your New York Wedding ceremony (smooth, eh?) and your wedding rings with meaning that is holistic and historic to your family.

Many of my wedding ceremonies, New York or elsewhere, include variations on the Celtic handfasting, and these distinctive rings would add to that powerful ritual.

Dollar Dance

If you're a crafty sort, thinking of making your own centerpieces or other decor for your wedding, you'll LOVE the Dollar Tree site online. They have candles, votives, mirrors, all kinds of vases and baskets, silk petals and all kinds of useful things! They all come in case packs, delivered right to your door, which will save you time, gas and money; it's a win win situation.



I especially liked these sweet little candles, and the silk rose petals, which come in a number of colors. Just browsing the site will give you ideas!

We can dream can't we!

Flowers are on our minds; bouquets, archways, centerpieces,and petals for the flower girls. But how amazing is this backdrop!
The New York Times Magazine ran an amazing article this Sunday, about floral designer Daniel Ost who does some of the most incredible and creative work we could imagine.
For a private party at the Château Vaux-Le-Vicomte, France, Ost decorated a pond with fresh rose petals. He has done installations for runway shows, museum openings and yes, he does bouquets and centerpieces too.
His work, while on a grand and probably unaffordable scale, reminds us that some of the charm of flowers is in the unexpected and unconventional ways they can be used to enhance the important occasions in our lives.Check out the article and be inspired in a BIG way!

Beads and Brides

I know that a lot of you are jewelers and crafters and creative types and what better reason to indulge yourself in new beauties than to make some of the accessories for your bridal party and yourself. Fire Mountain Gems, has always been one of my favorite sources for beads, findings, and jewelry supplies of all sorts. They have lots and lots of ideas on their website, with a special section for wedding ideas, but give yourself a real treat and order their catalog. Their selection is exhaustive, their prices are fair, and they have many, many photos of finished pieces that will inspire you to create your own gorgeous things.

Crazy not about wedding ceremonies...

Every once in a while, I come across something too amazing, too inspirational to keep to myself, wedding wise or not. This is one of those things. Cynthia Rawlings, the wildly successful author of the Harry Potter series, gave the commencement speech at Harvard this year.
She spoke with humility and humor, talking of the value of failure and the joy of imagination. It is truly one of the most motivational performances that I have ever witnesses. I sincerely hope that you gift yourself with 20 minutes or so of time and watch the video that is available on the Harvard Magazine website. You'll be delighted that you did.

Ring a ding ding!

Okay! I stole this whole post! From a neat site called http://www.westchester-weddings.com/ Now that being said, I'm not crazy about all the sentiments expressed, but it does give you some ideas.

Your inscription should reflect you, and it can be anything; a line from your vows or the poems that you've chosen for your ceremony. It could be the name of your wedding song. One of my couples joked that they were going to use, "Everyone else sucks but we rock!" I kind of liked that!
Here are the ideas that I outright pillaged from the other site, but if you have something cooler going on, just let me know! I take no responsibility for the incidents of tastelessness that abound below!




A Deal Is A Deal
A Lifetime Is All That I Need
A Lovely View Of Heaven/But I'd Rather Be With You
A Perfect Fit
All I Refuse & Thee I Choose
All My Heart
All My Love, All My Life
All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter
All You Need Is Love
Always
Always And All Ways
Always And Forever
Always Faithful
Always For Forever
As You Wish
At Last
Baby, I'm Amazed By You
Beautiful In My Eyes
Beloved
Better Part Of Forever
Bless O Lord This Ring
Body, Mind And Heart
Bound To An Angel
By Your Side
Can I Keep You?
Circle Of Love
Circle Of Trust
Come What May
Committed to you
Constant And True
Desire Hath Set My Heart On Fire
Don't Hope, Believe
Dreams Do Come True
Each For Each Other, Both For God
Endless Love
Eternally Yours
Eternity
Eternity Together
Everlasting Love
Everything I Do, I Do It For You
Faithful & True
Finally Complete
First My Heart, Then My Soul
For All Days
For All That Is Good
For All The Days Of Eternity/Never A Dark Night
For All Time
For Ever And A Day
For I'd Found Love/And Love Was You
For Love So Sweet
For My Greatest Love
For My Sunshine
For Time And All Eternity
For Whither Thou Goest I Will Follow
For You Alone
Forever
Forever Always
Forever And A Day
Forever And Ever
Forever Dancing To The Beat Of Your Heart
Forever Entwined
Forever Friends
Forever In My Heart
Forever Mine
Forever My King, Always Your Queen
Forever Thine
Forever Together
Forever True
Forever Yours
Forever, True And Always
Forevermore
Forget Me Not
Friends & Lovers
From This Day Forward
From This Day On
From This Moment On
Given With Faith, Hope And Love
God Bless Us
God For Me Provided Thee
God Unite Both In Love
God's Blessing Forever
Gotcha!
Grow Old Along With Me, The Best Is Yet To Be
Grow Old With Me
Happily Ever After
Have Love And All
Heart · Mind · Body · Soul ·
Here Is My Heart, Guard It Well
His (wife's ring)/Hers (husband's ring)
Honestly And For True
Hope Is The Life Of Love
How Do I Love Thee
I Am My Beloved
I Am My Beloved/My Beloved Is Mine
I Am The Luckier One
I Am Yours Forever
I Belong to You/You Belong to Me
I Choose Us
I Choose You
I Choose You As My Life mate
I Could Not Ask For More
I Do Not Wish To Love Any Other
I Finally Found You
I Found Love, And Love Was You
I Have Nothing More To Give You But My Heart
I Knew From The Moment I Met You
I Live For You Loving Me
I Love And I Hope
I Love You
I Love You Always
I Love You More
I Love You More Than Anything
I Melt
I Only Have Eyes For You
I Promise You Forever
I Wanna Know How Forever Feels
I Will Always Love You
I Will Be Here
I Will Love You My Whole Life
I Will Never Love Another
I'd Still Choose You
If God Be For Us, Who Can Be Against Us
I'm Amazed By You
I'm Forever Yours, Faithfully
In God And Thee My Joy Shall Be
In Heaven, Too, You Will Have My Hand
In My Mind And Heart
In Perfect Love & Perfect Trust
In This Life I Was Loved By You
It's Been You All The Time
I've Found All I've Waited For
Joined As One
Joined In Love
Joined In One By Our Love
Joy Without End
Keep It Real
Kismet
Let Me Always Be With You
Let The Winds Of Heaven Dance Between Us
Let Us Be One Til We Are None
Let Us Live As One
Let Us Live In Love
Life Has Begun
Love · Faith · Honesty
Love All Our Day
Love Always
Love Comforteth Like Sunshine After The Rain
Love Conquers All
Love Eternal
Love Ever
Love For Love
Love Is All You Need
Love Is Enough
Love Is Friendship Set On Fire
Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind
Love Knows No Distance
Love Me
Love Me And Leave Me Not
Love Me As I Love Thee
Love Of My Life
Love Till Death
Love Walked In
Love Without End
Love, Honor, Cherish
Lovers Forever
Maybe I'm Amazed
Mine
More Than Yesterday, Less Than Tomorrow
My Beloved Is Mine
My Best Friend
My Cup Runneth Over
My Dream Came True
My Fated Soulmate
My Favorite
My First, My Only
My Fondest Wish
My Friend, My Love
My Gentle Lover
My Heart
My Heart Is True, My Joy Is You
My Heart Will Be Your Shelter/My Arms Will Be Your Home
My Heart, My Life
My Heart's Desire
My Lady, My Lover
My Life And My Love
My Life Began With You
My Life, My Love
My Life, My Love, My Center
My Lord, My Lover
My Love Is Forever
My Love Is Forever Yours
My Love Is With You
My Love Will Forever Encircle You
My Love, My Life, My Friend
My Never Ending Love
My One And Only
My One Desire
My One True Love
My Pleasure
My Precious
My Soul Will Keep Thine Company
My True Companion
Near Or Far, I Still Love You
Near You Always
Never Another
Never Another You
Never In Doubt
Never To Part
No Joy Compared To Hearts Content
No One But You
No Regrets
Not Fade Away
Not For Pawning
Nothing Else Matters
Now And Forever
Now I Am Complete
Oh The Places We'll Go!
Olive Juice
Once Two, Now One
Once Upon A Time
One Flesh
One Life One Love
One Love, One Lifetime
One Sunset At A Time
Our Love Is Fate
Our Love Is Forever
Our Unity Is Christ
Pulse Of My Heart
Put It Back On
Real Love Is Forever
Remember When
Resistance Is Futile
Ring of Hearts A'Fire
S.W.A.K.
See How Much I Love You
So Will My Love Forever Encircle You
Someone To Watch Over Me
Soul Friend
Soul Mates
Sparkle Of My Life
Sweet Love
Sweet Treasure
The Answer To My Prayers
The Beginning Of Forever
The Best Day Of My Life
The Best Is Yet To Be
The Best Proof Of Love Is Trust
The Best Things Are Free
The Music Will Never Stop
The Other Half Of Me Is You
The Road That Never Ends
The World Moves For Love, It Kneels Down In Awe Before It
They Dance Under One Sky
Think Of Me
This And My Heart
This And The Giver Are Thine Forever
This Hath No End, My Sweetest Friend
This Is My Beloved And This Is My Friend
This Is My Solemn Vow
Til Infinity Plus One
Til My Dying Day
To Eternity And Beyond
To Have And To Hold
To Love, Honor & Cherish Always
To The Moon And Back
Today And Always, I Belong To You
Today I Married My Friend
Today, Tomorrow, Forever
Together Forever
True Love Always
Trust Love
Two Bodies, One Heart
Two Bodies, One Life
Two Hearts Together
United As One
Until Eternity Passes
Until My Dying Day
Until My Forever Ends
We Are For Each Other
We Are Forever
We Are One
We Fit
We Shall Be Together Even In The Silent Memory Of God
What The Eye Saw, The Heart Has Chosen
When You Are With Me, I Am Free
When You See This, Remember Me
Where Two Became One
Who So Loves Believes The Impossible
Why Do You Have Your Ring Off?
With All That I Am
With Arms Wide Open
With These Rings We Bind Our Love
With You Always
With You I Belong
Worth The Wait
Wrapped Around You Forever
Yes, I Still Love You
Yesterday, Today And Eternity
Yin/Yang
You And I Will Lovers Die
You And No Other
You Are Home
You Are Mine Forever
You Are My Desire
You Are My Heart
You Are My Home
You Are My Life
You Are My Strength And My Love
You Are My Sunshine
You Are So Beautiful
You Are The Love Of My Life
You Are The Reason
You Are The Reason I Am
You Complete Me
You Fill Up My Senses
You Have My Heart
You Have My Whole Heart For My Whole Life
You Make Me Grow
You Make Me Whole
You Own My Heart
You Shall Never Walk Alone
Your Love Is Better Than Ice Cream
Your Love Is My Happiness
You're In My Soul
You're Still The One
You're The Answer To My Everything
You're The Answer To My Prayers
Yours In All Ways
Yours Only
Yours Unfailing

A toast to your wedding ceremony!

Why not toast your wedding at the ceremony? There are so many creative ways to do this, and it lets your guests know that you've really thought out every detail. Here are some ideas from my amazing couples who've celebrated their wedding ceremonies in New Jersey and New York.

You could have a wine or sake sharing with appropriate words from your wedding officiant. When I do this, I usually talk about the beauty and nuance that time can add to simple grape juice or rice water. The bride and groom sip from the same cup, although a traditional sake sharing is a little more involved, incorporating the family.

You could choose to toast each other and the guests, saying a few words of thanks and/or welcome at the beginning or end of the ceremony.

OR

You could have your banquet hall staff, or your bridal party (I love this for a small group of guests), circulate with trays of champagne or other festive beverage, maybe one keyed to your colors....) and have a group toast at the very end of the wedding.

All of these alternatives include your toast in the part of the day that is really "toastable"; the ceremony!

Ornamental Things

It is always a challenge to find great thank you gifts for your attendants; they are all so unique and precious. Well a visit to Ornamental Things is going to give you perfect solution! Natalies delicate, vintage jewelry creations are as unique and precious as your bridesmaids. She hand crafts sweet, idiosyncratic combinations that are charming and romantic; the ideal compliment to their gowns for the day. And you might even find a little treat for yourself!

certifiable!

What a great photo opportunity! Either during the ceremony or after. The bride, the groom and the officiant signing, signing, signing....um......something!

Unfortunately, the wedding license in most states is just an ugly duckling, and even though in New York, the couple does sign it, four gorgeous people signing a legally looking piece of documentation does NOT a photo make.

Fortunately, there are alternatives, like this beauty, courtesy of www.fineweb.com, the website of Gary Fine, an officiant in Massachusetts. You can fine beautiful certificates and Ketubahs online, or you can ask your New Jersey Wedding Officiant (smooth, eh?) to make one for you. The signing of a beautiful document is so often an accompaniment to important and momentous days, and it might be just the sweet, symbolic touch to add to yours.

With this Ring!

One of my cool brides, getting married in Brooklyn next week, has chosen "With This Ring", by the Platters, as her recessional! You can view it, and many other cool ideas for music on Youtube! Your "recessional" music should be joyous, upbeat, but not necessarily classical. I'll post more suggestions as they come to me, and chime in with your own!

New York, New York!!

This is an excerpt from the New York Times this morning;

ALBANY — Gov. David A. Paterson has directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, like Massachusetts, California and Canada. (AND NEW JERSEY!!!
SORTA!!!)

In a directive issued on May 14, the governor’s legal counsel, David Nocenti, instructed the agencies that gay couples married elsewhere “should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union.”

The revisions are most likely to involve as many as 1,300 statutes and regulations in New York governing everything from joint filing of income tax returns to transferring fishing licenses between spouses.

In a videotaped message given to gay community leaders at a dinner on May 17, Mr. Paterson described the move as “a strong step toward marriage equality.” And people on both sides of the issue said it moved the state closer to fully legalizing same-sex unions in this state.

“Very shortly, there will be hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, and probably thousands and thousands and thousands of gay people who have their marriages recognized by the state,” said Assemblyman Daniel O’Donnell, a Democrat who represents the Upper West Side and has pushed for legalization of gay unions.

Massachusetts and California are the only states that have legalized gay marriage, while others, including New Jersey and Vermont, allow civil unions. Forty-one states have laws limiting marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Legal experts said Mr. Paterson’s decision would make New York the only state that did not itself allow gay marriage but fully recognized same-sex unions entered into elsewhere.

This is a huge step in the right direction, the right direction being New York making gay marriage legal. Let's all hope that comes soon; it can't be soon enough!

Sailing away!

How cool would it be to have your wedding on this lovely boat, the "Richard Robbins"? Now, I know nothing about boats except I love them, and being on the water for two hours makes me feel like I've been on vacation. But I went to the Classic Sail Windjammer Site and found out that this beauty is a historic schooner, built in 1902. She is a registered historic Tall Ship which participated in "Operation Sail 1987", "Operation Sail 1992".

Clasic Sail is running many brunch and sunset cruises, including a 4th of July trip! How fun would that be!!!

This just might be the perfect place for your wedding, rehearsal dinner, or "after the wedding" brunch. I hope you'll check out site because I know you'll enjoy it!

A little tiny basket of great stuff is a wonderful way to welcome your out of town guests. Many companies, like www.angelsdreamgifts.com, can make beautiful gifts that will make your guests feel especially cherished.

It's great to have your basket relate to your venue, your state or your wedding theme. Are you on a ranch, like Laura Bush? Maybe some down home treats. New Jersey? Too many jokes to go there. A big city like, um, NY? Subway tokens, a map pointing to museums and other notable sites, a disposable camera, a pastrami sandwich. Just kidding. In any and all cases, a list of local attractions, cool and inexpensive quirky restaurants and contact numbers for the hotel,ceremony venue, and reception site. Your gracious hospitality will be appreciated, no one will get lost, and they'll be even happier to celebrate your special day!

girls, grass and shoes

Stilettos and sod don't mix! If your wedding is going to be outside, on the grass, (sand is a whole other discussion!) you want to plan your footwear accordingly. More than one of my recent brides has found herself slowly sinking into the ground (and usually, not evenly....) One one of the most important days of your life, you shouldn't be worried about ending face down on the lawn. Well, not at the very beginning anyway... Look for something with a wide heel or some pretty flats (keep in mind that this will affect the way your hemline is altered too.

Your New York Wedding officiant (smooth, eh?) will need to know this too, so she doesn't wobble around while she's performing your ceremony; some of us move around more than others, and don't want to be worried about tripping or getting stuck.

This is also something you might want to indicate in a subtle way on your invitations too, so your female guests know to plan accordingly. You could write things like;

"Ceremony on the lawn of the blah blah blah club."
"Ceremony in the Rose Garden of the blah blah blah conservatory."
"Ceremony in the middle of no where, and it's a long walk to the back 40."

Another possibility would be to add this to your wedding website when you describe the setting. Everyone will be comfortable, and everyone will be happy!

(Photo courtesy of www.weddingbee.com)

Enable your cookies!

How much do we LOVE cookies, and what beautiful favors they make when created by www.feedyoursoulcookies.com They can create the perfect wedding memento that will delight your guests with a personal and inspirational treat.

Everything about this gift may be personalized to your specifications. There are choices of elegant miniature tins and boxes that are filled with freshly baked cookies and tied with soft satin ribbon.
Each favor includes the wedding couple's names, dates, a personalized philosophy, quotation, or thought: There are hundred to choose from. And what is even better, the "icing on the cookie"; a portion of the proceeds from each purchase is donated to the charitable organization of your choice.

Honeymoon Hotels

Thanks to the New York Times, I found a great resource for inexpensive hotels all over the world, from New York to Scotland and back. WWW.Easyhotels.com lets you search by location, date, and room type, to find reasonable rooms with character and charm. Most are light on amenities, but you're going to be out exploring, aren't you? The hotels in Edinburgh looked adorable, and they are expanding their sites in London, Switzerland and Budapest.

April in Paris, anyone? Rates start at 60 bucks a night!

John O'Donohue

My friend and fellow Celebrant, Murphy Birdsall turned me on to John O'Donohue, an Irish poet and philosopher who died suddenly on January 4th. He was a " native Irish speaker, a former priest, and author of books that provided sustenance for many souls hungering for connection in a shallow, narcissistic world — a world full of what called the 'religion of rush.'" (From the NPR website, www.npr.org.

He wrote frequently about life's milestones, especially in his last book, "To Bless the Space Between Us". This is a poem that I especially like as a leave taking reading at the end of a wedding.



For Marriage; John O’Donohue



As spring unfold the dream of the earth,
May you bring each other’s hearts to birth.

As the ocean finds calm in the view of land
May you love the gaze of each other’s mind.

As the wind arises free and wild,
May nothing negative control your lives.

As kindly as the moonlight might search the dark,
So gentle may you be when light grows scarce.

As surprised as the silence that music opens,
May your words for each other be touched with reverence.

As warmly as the air draws in the light,
May you welcome each other’s every gift.

As elegant as dreams absorbing the night,
May sleep find you clear of anger and hurt.

And as twilight harvests the day’s colors,
May love bring you home to each other.

another great wedding ceremony site

What a beautiful beautiful venue this is! I'm delighted to be officiating at a wedding on Saturday morning at this gorgeous historically significant site. Something to keep in mind, if you're having a wedding on a holiday weekend, is that your guests might really appreciate a creative, interesting destination. Mohonk fits the bill perfectly; a gracious estate outside of New Paltz, NY, it offers hiking, spa services, and of course, the perfect venue for an stylish and personal wedding.

www.mohonk.com

Not your New York Wedding Ceremony....yet...

California has lifted the ban on same sex weddings, which is a wonderful benchmark that more states should imitate. I am very proud that New Jersey had made civil unions legal for years; we have a little more work to do, but at least some of the protections and privileges granted to "traditional" couples are now in place for same sex couples. When is New York going to get up to speed?

No one has the right to vote on a couple's marriage; not relatives, not strangers. Marriage is between two people and their chosen community. And that's all I have to say about that. Well, not ALL.....

You Skewer me, you New York Wedding Officiant

Yeah, I know it's self serving, but actually, if you go to Churrascaria Plataforma, you'll be served! and what a great idea for a party~ A Brazilian theme buffet, complete with roving waiters brandishing armfuls of...um....MEAT! Your guests are provided a coaster with a green side "MORE MEAT" and a red side, "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH....GO AWAY". Add some luscious side dishes, a beautiful wedding cake and a New Jersey Wedding Officiant (smooth, eh?) and you've got a party going on! Sure beats, "Will you be having the Filet Mignon or
the Salmon?"

For starters, check out Churrascaria Plataforma, in NYC, billed as "The steakhouse even vegetarians will love". Their cool menu and fun atmosphere would be the perfect place for a stylish and unusual wedding. I'll be there; just call me!

Young Gay Rites

The cover story in the New York Times Magazine, on April 27th, was a story titled, "Young Gay Rights". It examined the reasons that gay men in their 20's seem to be getting married at a prodigious rate. I loved the story, but I hated the photos. This is the letter that I wrote to them, which is published in this weeks magazine section.

"Dear Editors,
I enjoyed Denizet-Lewis', Young Gay Rites in the magazine of April 27th. The author crafted a lively and sympathetic read, chronicling the path to marriage and beyond; a path that is not so different for any couples of any sexual combination . But why the colorized, exaggerated photos, mimicking the most cliché and self conscious of coupled moments? Why pose Marc and Vasssili in tuxedos when they specifically stated that they will sidestep all the trappings associated with "traditional" weddings? Besides the uncomfortable nod to the fifties, (an era that was not especially welcoming to gays and lesbians), it insinuates that gay couples are somehow "play acting" at being married. As a civil Celebrant, who has had the great joy to preside over many gay unions in New Jersey, I'm insulted by the way these couples were depicted, at least visually. Any couple taking the momentous step of becoming legally married deserved to be spared mockery in the name of editorial shock value."

They cut out the last sentence, which I felt was vital. As a civil celebrant, I feel very, very strongly about the civil rights that have been granted, (at least partially) in New Jersey. I'm proud that my state has taken that step, and hope that more will make the moves to guarantee the fundamental freedom to marry the person that one loves.

I'll take Manhattan!

The Bronx and Staten Island too!!!! (Actually, this is the beautiful Brooklyn Bridge) As of 12:47 PM today, I'm legally registered as a New York City wedding officiant,(smooth, eh?), and can perform weddings on the George Washington Bridge, in Central Park, at Zabars, or just about any other place you might have in mind. I'm very excited, and I have to thank one of my cool couples, Gina and Charles for inspiring me to get registered. So Thanks!

Places Everyone

Placecards are good and evil. They help prevent chaos at a sit down or formal affair. They let people know where to go, which is a real plus with a larger crowd. HOWEVER, any couple will tell you that fitting your guests into tables is not the easiest thing in the world, and there will ALWAYS be some little problem that day.

One way to herd the cats is to name your tables after the groups of people you've invited; "Rhode Island School of Design-ers", or "Yankee Fans". Another is to name your tables after special places or moments in your relationship and the people that shared them with you; "Cozumel 2008" , "Graduation 2006", and use photos to mark the tables and the placecards.

One of my brilliant brides had a different single floral arrangement on each table and named her tables after them; Cape Cod Blue (with pansies), Sunflower yellow...etc.

There are so many creative ways to name tables and direct traffic that "Table 1" just doesn't seem like an option! Tell me more about your New York wedding ceremony at www.celiamilton.com